Someone Else's Blog

Its after midnight. I should be asleep. I have to work tomorrow. But I can't sleep. Not now. Not tonight. African drums pound in my head. I wake to the chant of "Cavonli-ca-na" in my head. I think I actually woke up singing it yesterday.

I was poking around on the Compassion International blog, and I found someone who feels much like I do:

"The running water in my comfy apartment cannot help the hurt in my heart today. The grande nonfat latte I picked up from my favorite coffee shop didn’t help, either.

American luxuries I once looked forward to now feel empty, as nothing fills the void that Africa left.

Someone once said, “Once you get the dust of Africa on your feet, it will never leave you.”

Every day further away from Rwanda, the more I ache to be there. It’s been six weeks since my return from Africa, yet some moments, I feel as if I just stepped off the plane and into this alternate reality called America.

People were intrigued and interested for a short amount of time, but then the interest faded. And I’m left to pick up the pieces of my broken heart.

Leaving the kids I loved in Kigali, Rwanda, was like a death. It happens to most people who spend any amount of time away from home, and then return.

I cannot blame those around me who seemingly lose interest. The truth is, they have their own concerns, challenges, and broken hearts.

Life continued while I was away. It doesn’t mean people don’t care. It just means that new things sweep them up in the ever-flowing, ever-changing current of life."

Substitute Mozambique there instead of Rwanda, and four and half months instead of six weeks. But I like where she goes with this. She doesn't just sit there. I can't just sit here either. I can't sit here and let Africa die.

"

The U.S. is a stark reality when compared with the developing world. But for now, the Lord has me here in America, like most of you who are reading this. A dear friend of mine exhorted me: Don’t live in sadness.

Pray. Engage. Invest.

I need not be in Africa in order to shape Africa, to have a profound impact on a child in poverty. I simply need a heart that prays and longs for healing and blessing upon a continent too often overlooked."

But I can't just sit and pray. I have to DO something. I'm collecting clothes for them. Shoes, 20 pair of crocs so far (haha, my sister flipped out, the NYC fashion queen doesn't like crocs). Money, mets to go back, sending money thru various organizations. And I talk about Africa alot. Alot alot.

It was so nice to be able to talk about Iris with a friend who is thinking of going there. He asked me all these questions and I got to talk all about Africa and Iris. Haha, I'm recruiting people to go there.

But what else can we do? What else can we do here? I can't sleep still, my heart hurts too much...