sometimes my life just don't make sense at all

"sometimes my life just don't make sense at all..."
thank you rich mullins for understanding exactly how i am feeling right now. I can't make sense of anything. The only thing that I can make sense of is the most non-sensical person in my life right now and that is the autistic kid I work with. He makes sense. Or working with him does. Ironic, isn't it? The person who the world looks at as crazy is, perhaps, the one that speaks the most reassurance into my life that I am doing what I was made to do.

I just wish that people would stop thinking that I LOVE to travel. I am tired of traveling. I don't want to go anywhere. I feel so inadequate and weak right now. I can't make sense of anything.

I'm tired of people being jealous that I've been to a bunch of countries. The only place I actually chose to go was Brazil and that was a disaster to say the least. They think it is cool or they are jealous and make comments like "I never went to so many places". Well, why was that, then? Was it because God didn't call you there or was it because you were too scared to move?

But right now, I think I am too scared to move. And am stuck because of it. So "Hold me Jesus, I'm shakin like a leaf, you have been king of my glory, won't you be my prince of peace."